5 Tips to Be a Better Parent

Everyone who has raised or is raising a child is familiar with this scene; a 3-year-old child asks for a toy, a candy, or anything else, and if they can't get it, they start crying, and if they still don't achieve their goal, they throw a tantrum. According to Dr. Laurence Steinberg, an expert who has been working in the field of child development for 75 years, taking children with behavioral problems to a psychiatrist immediately or punishing them is not the best approach to these kinds of issues. Child education, especially behavioral problems, can be effectively resolved with quite simple measures or small changes in the daily flow of life, provided there is no serious cognitive illness involved. Here are a few suggestions from Dr. Steinberg that can help you be a good parent and prepare your child or children for life using modern, non-punitive methods.

5 Fundamental Principles of Being a Good Parent

1. What you do is more important than what they do. Children often learn many habits, attitudes, behaviors, and knowledge that they carry into adulthood by observing their parents. Therefore, to be a good parent, you need to do more than just set various rules for your child; you must also be the best example for them.

2. Children do not become spoiled by love. Showing your love for your child excessively does not cause them to become spoiled. The issue of spoiling in children generally arises not from the love they receive, but from other things that are mistaken for love (such as toys and snacks that are constantly bought without necessity, overly relaxed boundaries of tolerance, ignoring mistakes, etc.).

3. Actively engage in your child's life. Being an involved parent is a challenging task that requires you to seriously reconsider and rearrange your priorities in life. It is very important to be involved in your child's life not only mentally but also physically, within your means, especially for young children and to some extent for adolescents. Because children may not be able to grasp that "your heart is with them," even if you have no ill intentions.

4. Shape your parenting views according to your child. Many of us form certain patterns in our minds about what kind of mother or father we will be before having children. However, our children do not come into the world knowing what is "right" for them, understanding it. They have their own unique characters, inner worlds, and desires that can vary by age and environment. Forcing your child to fit into the patterns you have created in your mind will not yield good results in any case, so you are the one who needs to be a little flexible at this point and take your child's character into account.

5. Set rules. If you cannot manage your child's behavior at an early age, they will not know how to behave when they grow up and enter environments where you are not present (school, work, social circles, etc.). Although children often do not like rules and frequently complain about having to follow them, they actually need a safe environment created by certain rules for their physical and mental development. The important thing here is to be objective when setting rules, to consider your child's opinion, and not to direct the rules according to your own comfort or order. Once you have decided on rules that will not overly restrict the child, allow them to move, but also ensure they learn general behavioral rules, it is critical from a child development perspective that you do not bend these rules under any circumstances (Yes, even during tantrums).