How to Prevent Sibling Rivalry?

The feeling of jealousy, which is a natural and universal emotion, especially when it is above normal levels, makes a person unhappy and can sometimes lead to wrong and bad actions. This is actually a quite broad topic; we will only examine the issue from the perspective of sibling jealousy in children. The situation where the older child perceives the newly born sibling as a rival or an unwanted partner can sometimes reach quite disturbing dimensions. The older child, who cannot tolerate sharing the attention, love, and affection of their parents, which has always been focused on them until that day, may resort to hurting or harming the newborn baby.

The periods when sibling jealousy is most intensely experienced are between the ages of 3 and 8, as during this time children analyze life not with logic but with emotions. While some children openly express their jealousy, others try to suppress this feeling by showing excessive interest in their sibling.

To prevent sibling jealousy, parents should first accept that this feeling is natural and should not judge or punish their children for their jealousy. It is unrealistic to expect the older child to welcome this new guest, who takes away some of the love and attention they are used to, with great pleasure, even if they wish to have a sibling. It is necessary to make the older child understand that the baby cannot do the things they can do on their own and is in need of help. It is also important to ensure that the child understands that even if the household routine changes, there is no change or decrease in the love directed towards them. The mother will have to spend extra time for the new baby for a while and will have to reduce some social activities shared with the older child, which will fuel the feeling of sibling jealousy. A good plan should be made, and activities such as taking the child to school, the park, the cinema, or to friends should be provided by the father, a relative of the family, or a child caregiver.

It is not right to constantly remind the older child that they are now a sister or brother and expect them to take on responsibilities beyond their age; after all, they are still a child. Unless there is physical violence against the sibling, it is necessary not to intervene between the siblings. If the child hurts or harms their sibling, the parents should not react strongly but should warn the child clearly without being harsh. If this boundary cannot be set clearly enough or if some things are overlooked due to the guilt felt towards the older child, the baby may suffer as a result. If there is an overwhelming jealousy situation in the older child that is difficult to manage, the necessary step is to consult a child psychologist.